The Spirit

Carvell Wallace
6 min readFeb 1

It is difficult to deny that we’re all going to die at some point. perhaps for some of us that point is soon, maybe even today? Just because it is difficult to deny doesn’t mean it’s impossible to deny. But there are those among us who would like to deny it, or maybe it’s more accurate to say there are parts among all of us that would like to deny it. I suspect it this is because it would be impossible to operate in full awareness of this truth, just as its impossible to operate with full awareness that there are 4 billion suns in our galaxy and 4 billion galaxies in the known universe. Like you can know that, but you can’t every really know that.

Anyway, I saw a ghost, or whatever it was, a few weeks ago and nothing has been the same since, although things have looked the same. It came to me early in the morning in a cabin in upstate New York where my partner and I had gone for a little relaxation. We did get some relaxation, after we were done fighting, and after the ghost. There was a fireplace. We had a dog, we went for walks in the forest and around the lake. We ate soup and watched reality TV.

The ghost, or whatever it was, came early in the morning, about 2am, while I was on the couch falling asleep to re-runs of MTV’s Catfish. My partner was in the bedroom, presumably sleeping. It was the Catfish episode with a psychic, so maybe that was a factor. I became aware of a presence at the foot of the couch and when I looked there, I saw it. Or not it, but something that both was and wasn’t it. Not a person but the essence of a person appearing in the form of a…let’s say shimmer. Shadow? A Cloak?

I should say here that I don’t believe in this stuff. I mean I’ve had exactly one person tell me about a supernatural encounter that I actually thought might be for real, but mostly when people are telling me about this stuff, my brain is scanning for “logical” explanations. So, I’m not even sure that I believe what I saw. But I do know that I saw it.

The…um…figure…had an energy that I can only describe as urgent, and perhaps a little unpleasant. Not evil per se, but definitely more aggressive that I would have personally liked in that moment. I was not happy to see it. Like I was not particularly into it and I would have preferred none of this to be happening, but that didn’t seem to matter in this moment.

I then made the curious decision to go to sleep, much in the way that a kid will hide under the covers when they think there is something scary in their room. I’m not sure…

Carvell Wallace

This is where I experiment. This is where I learn to write.